Why People Use Substances: The Human Needs Behind Substance Use

Substances Meet Human Needs — And Humans Have Needs

Often when people are trying to stop using substances, they come in focusing on willpower.

How do I control myself enough to stop?
Why can’t I just be stronger?
What’s wrong with me that I keep doing this?

Many people carry a lot of shame around these questions.

But as a therapist and licensed addiction counselor, I like to start somewhere different, with a foundational assumption:

Substances meet human needs.

And we can’t ask you to be a human without needs.

A Different Question: Why Is This a Good Idea?

In my undergraduate psychology training, one of the most powerful questions we were taught to ask about behaviors often labeled “pathology” was:

Why is this a good idea?

Why is drinking alcohol a good idea?
Why might depression be a good idea?
Why might PTSD responses exist?

This question shifts us out of judgment and into curiosity.

It helps us understand the intent of a behavior, even if the consequences are harmful.

Because if a behavior continues, it’s working in some way.

The Needs Substances Often Meet

Substances can meet many different human needs, depending on the situation. They can help people:

• Stay awake

• Fall asleep

• Feel more social

• Reduce anxiety

• Check out from overwhelming feelings

• Focus

• Have fun

• Feel more creative

• Feel more confident

• Feel more sexual

These are not trivial needs.

They are deeply human ones.

An IFS-Informed Lens: The Part That Uses Substances

From an IFS-informed perspective, we can get curious about the part of us that uses substances.

That part usually has an important job.

Maybe it’s helping protect us from the pain of childhood trauma.

Maybe it’s helping us cope with the ongoing stress of holding a marginalized LGBTQ identity.

Maybe it’s helping us get through a failing relationship or chronic stress.

In that moment, the substance-using part may be trying to protect you.

And protection is adaptive.

Moving From Shame to Curiosity (An IFS Perspective)

One of the reasons people can feel so stuck trying to stop using substances is the amount of shame surrounding it.

Many people carry a harsh inner voice that says things like:

• “I should have more self-control.”

• “What’s wrong with me?”

• “I’m weak for needing this.”

From an IFS-informed perspective, that shame itself is often another part of us — a part trying to motivate change by being critical or harsh.

Unfortunately, shame rarely creates lasting change. It tends to push us into hiding, isolation, or more substance use.

IFS offers a different approach.

Instead of letting the shame part dominate the conversation, we try to access Self energy — the calm, curious, compassionate center of ourselves.

From that place, we can ask:

• What is the part of me that uses substances trying to do for me?

• What is it protecting me from?

• What would it be afraid would happen if it stopped?

Curiosity allows us to understand the behavior instead of attacking it.

And often, when the protective parts feel heard and understood, they become more open to exploring new ways of meeting the needs they’ve been trying so hard to protect.

Immediately Adaptive vs Ultimately Adaptive

Another idea that shaped my early psychology training was this:

Many behaviors are immediately adaptive, but not ultimately adaptive.

We do what works.

And we usually do what works right now, not what works long term.

For example:

Alcohol may help someone feel relaxed and sociable quickly.
Later, it may lead to poor decisions, hangovers, health concerns, or dependence.

Exercise, on the other hand, is often the opposite.

It can feel difficult in the moment, but it improves mood, sleep, and health over time.

Substances tend to be immediately powerful solutions — but often with long-term costs.

When the Downsides Start to Show Up

At some point, the consequences to using substances may begin to outweigh the benefits.

Depending on the substance, people may notice things like:

• Hangovers

• Breathing difficulties

• Dependence

• Relationship conflicts

• Work problems

• Health concerns

At that point, someone might decide they want to change their relationship with substances.

But when we remove substances, we are left with the needs they were meeting.

Listening to the Part That Uses

If we simply tell the part of us that drinks or uses substances to stop, it may react with fear or anger.

That part might say:

“If I stop doing this, what will happen to us?”

Listening to that fear is important.

Because it often reveals the real needs underneath the behavior.

Finding New Ways to Meet Those Needs

If someone decides they want to reduce or stop substance use, the work often becomes:

How can we meet the needs substances were meeting in other ways?

Substances are powerful because they act quickly. Many healthier coping strategies work more slowly and require repetition. Often, we need to stack multiple strategies together to create a similar effect.

Some examples might include:

• Movement or exercise. Even gentle movement can help regulate the nervous system, release stress hormones, and shift mood.

• Seeking connection. Talking with a trusted friend, partner, or support group can meet the need for belonging and reduce the urge to cope alone.

• Getting outside. Fresh air, sunlight, and contact with nature can help calm the nervous system and interrupt cycles of stress.

• Listening to music. Music can change emotional states quickly and help process feelings that might otherwise feel overwhelming.

• Creative outlets. Writing, drawing, or making something with your hands can offer an outlet for energy, emotion, or expression.

• Improving sleep and rest. Many people use substances to regulate sleep, so building sustainable sleep habits can be an important replacement.

• Addressing underlying trauma. When substances are helping manage unresolved trauma, deeper therapeutic work may be needed to help the nervous system feel safer.

None of these strategies works as instantly as a substance. But over time, they can create more sustainable ways of meeting those same needs.

The Grief of Letting Go

There is often something else that deserves acknowledgment:

Loss.

Substances can provide a quick and powerful shift in how we feel.

Letting go of that can feel like losing a tool that worked.

Grieving that loss is real and valid.

Ultimately Adaptive Change

Healthy coping strategies can eventually meet those same needs in ways that support long-term wellbeing.

But they usually work more slowly.

And they require patience.

Substances often provide immediate relief.

Healing usually offers sustainable relief.

Both respond to real human needs.

When Support Can Help

If you’re struggling with substance use, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

It may mean that something in your life has required powerful coping.

If you're exploring your relationship with substances and want support without judgment, substance use counseling can help you understand the needs behind the behavior and build healthier ways to meet them.